Are you skipping the scary parts?

Are you skipping the scary parts?

The first date my husband and I went on was to see Pulp Fiction at the cinema. He quickly realised I’m not good with the scary bits!

I spent most of the film with my face pressed into his shoulder and my fingers in my ears (miraculously we’re still together nearly 30 years later).

I’m still not great with anticipatory fear on screen. I close my eyes. I block my ears. I find it really hard to watch.

And it can affect life off screen too. Fear of what might be - the unknown - can often slow me down and keep me stuck.


And yet…

The easy trap of compare and despair…

The easy trap of compare and despair…

“Do you find yourself contrasting how someone else’s life looks on the outside, with how yours feels on the inside?

Can it feel as though everyone else is doing it ‘better’?

Is compare and despair an easy trap for you to fall into?

Me too. My inner critic absolutely loves to jump into this place.

A snapshot of someone else’s life can bring up a whole lot of stuff for many of us. Especially if it lands in a tender spot.

This was brought to life for me recently - but from the other side of the experience…

Why it's useful to be specific

Why it's useful to be specific

“Should I make this less specific?”

I’ve had a few people ask me this question in coaching sessions recently.

They feel they ‘should’ be bringing bigger ‘meta’ issues.

They worry that by being specific they are focusing in on too small a thing - or narrowing their options too much.

They think they should focus on the bigger picture rather than one piece of the puzzle.

When this happens I tell them that it’s generally really useful to be specific.

No more perfect pupil!

No more perfect pupil!

One of my new favourite ways to spend Sunday morning is in a warm yoga class at my local studio.


It’s the perfect balance of relaxing and intense (even though I’m always lulled into a false sense of security by the gentleness of the first 15 minutes!).

And this week it came with the added bonus of a huge a-ha moment.


As we settled into our mats the yoga teacher (the brilliant Kayleigh) set up the session.

She reminded us that it was our practice. At any time we could take a break or make a change.

I’ve heard this before and know it makes sense. I’m even getting better at actually doing it :-)

But her next sentence really landed it for me:

“Just because I tell you to do something, doesn’t mean you have to”.

Game changer.

The power of altitude

The power of altitude

I absolutely love being safely up high.

When I was little, I loved to sit at the very top of the climbing frame in our back garden (strangely, especially when it was raining and I could sit under an umbrella!).

Some of my favourite holidays have been in the mountains in the summer.

When I imagine where my future self lives, she has a wide-open view.


Anywhere with a bit of height and a big sky calms me down and opens me up. It gives me a beautiful sense of perspective. I can see things more clearly.


I keep this card close by to remind me of that feeling.

Do you have a greenhouse for ideas?

Do you have a greenhouse for ideas?

“Where do you get your ideas from?”

I was asked this recently, and I replied that I see ideas everywhere.

I’ll notice something - a visual, a sentence in a book, a view, a part of a conversation - and an idea forms in my brain. Sometimes it’s just a fragment, and sometimes it seems to download, fully formed.

And I then realised that wasn’t the whole story.

When I reflected on it further I realised that I’ve been increasing my capacity to have ideas over time. I’ve been building a habit.

It’s a practice, not a gift.

The trap of all or nothing thinking…

The trap of all or nothing thinking…

I recently spent the weekend on retreat. A hugely restorative 48 hours in a beautiful place with the perfect mix of rest and activity.

As it came towards the end there was a focus on what we wanted to take home with us.

What to add into our regular lives that would help us hold onto some of the magical feeling.

One thing to say yes to for ourselves.

A super useful exercise, as when you can’t take it all, it can be easy not to take anything, to simply return to normal life.

To think that, because you can’t recreate the whole experience, then doing nothing is the only option.

Are you taking what's magical for granted?

Are you taking what's magical for granted?

Looking out of the window the other day I saw a green parakeet (and then managed to get a photo!)

Beautiful. Exotic. Magical….

And completely normal for me (we have an abundance of them where I live).

I also walk everyday in Bushy Park, among the deer.

And just a little further afield is the river and Hampton Court Palace with it’s sparkly gold gates.

When people come to visit they are astonished at these sights. Through their fresh eyes they are magical.

And I realise they are so familiar to me that I can take them for granted.

This can be true of our surroundings, and just as true for ourselves and what we bring to the world. So often we can’t see what others find magical in us, because it’s simply a part of who we are.

What's your relationship with feedback?

What's your relationship with feedback?

Do you love feedback, or loathe it?

Does receiving it make you feel uncomfortably in the spotlight?

Does it feel like a judgement about you?

I’m back for the third time in Tara Mohr’s Playing Big Facilitators Training (as an alum I get to go back every year and experience it again).

It’s hands down one of the best investments I’ve ever made, and the book is one of my most valuable resources - and the one I most often send the women I work with.

I use a lot of her principles and practical tools in my life and coaching, but one of my favourites - and a gamechanger for both me and others - relates to reframing our relationship with feedback.

We’re on this section of the course right now, and listening to the call this week I was struck all over again at the effect our relationship with, and experience of, feedback can have on us.

What feels like luxury to you?

The word luxury can conjure up images of grandeur, of impossible dreams, of wealth, and maybe a little self indulgence?

And yet it’s also a lovely feeling to treat ourselves. To give ourselves a small piece of something that feels like luxury to us. To add an element of luxury into our day to day to lift our energy.

Especially if we spend a lot of our time and energy working, delivering, supporting others.

For me, as someone who works from home, and who grew up as a Paperchase devotee in the 80’s, this is luxury for me.

It’s also how I spend every Monday morning - thanks to inspiration from fellow coach Catriona Horey.