Do you love feedback, or loathe it?

Does receiving it make you feel uncomfortably in the spotlight?

Does it feel like a judgement about you?

I’m back for the third time in Tara Mohr’s Playing Big Facilitators Training (as an alum I get to go back every year and experience it again).

It’s hands down one of the best investments I’ve ever made, and the book is one of my most valuable resources - and the one I most often send the women I work with.

I use a lot of her principles and practical tools in my life and coaching, but one of my favourites - and a gamechanger for both me and others - relates to reframing our relationship with feedback.

We’re on this section of the course right now, and listening to the call this week I was struck all over again at the effect our relationship with, and experience of, feedback can have on us.

How personal it can feel. How deeply it can get under our skin - and stay there.

It can urge us on. It can lift us up and shape our identities.

It can stop us in our tracks. It can leave us feeling devastated or defensive.

It can have huge power if we don’t create a useful relationship with it.

So how do we do that?

The starting point - and biggest mindset shift - is this thought:

Feedback gives me information about the person giving the feedback.

It’s THEIR opinion.

From THEIR perspective.

Based on THEIR experience.

It’s not a truth about you.

I find this SUCH a useful thought.

We don’t have to argue with the feedback, or take it to heart.

We can use it as a way to get curious about what’s going on - how are others seeing us show up, and is our work having the impact we want?

And then decide if it’s something we want to take action on.

So if you’d love to reframe your relationship with feedback, start with this thought, and see what it looks like from a different perspective.

What’s a piece of feedback that has been sitting with you?

And how does thinking about it from this perspective help you reframe it?

Wishing you all a wonderful week,