A few weeks ago I was writing an email and found myself comparing two slightly different versions.
Which was better?
Was there a magically perfect version to be created by combining them?
What would be the best one that would make the biggest difference?
And then I caught myself. Or not me, but my inner perfectionist who loves to get her magnifying glass out and scrutinise the smallest of details.
“Start by drawing a line down the middle of a piece of paper”
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve said this as part of a coaching session - either for the work we are doing in it, or as something to explore in between sessions.
I find it SUCH a useful tool for getting things down on paper so we can see them, understand them, and decide what to do about them.
One of my favourites is in the picture - the Energy Map.
We have two paths down to the cabin at the end of our garden. Can you spot them?
There’s the one we want everyone to take…
… and the one the dog has created all on his own by hurling himself down the garden.
He does this when he desperately needs to assess the situation and combat any threats to our borders. He’s on autopilot.
Funnily enough he trots back down on the ‘official one’, when he’s calm and relaxed and has everything under control.
We all have these types of automatic reactions, but often they’re not as easy to spot!
I’m having a lot of coaching conversations about uncertainly at the moment.
About how to navigate through it at a time of restructures, changing circumstances, and other unknowns, as well as how to help others navigate through it too.
One of the main questions has been how to start a conversation about it, in a way that’s useful.
And how to hold the worry of other people while you’re also holding your own.
I’ve been pulling out The Huge Bag of Worries by Virginia Ironside, and sharing the wisdom within it as a useful tool to explore.
It has taken me over 2 years to write this post it!
Over 2 years of feeling a burst of irritation anytime anyone has a wee in our downstairs loo while I’m coaching (it’s the room next door).
Over 2 years of thinking ‘do they not realise I’m coaching?’
Over 2 years of wondering if the sound is audible (!)
And over 2 years of not actually saying anything to anyone in my family…
Until now.
…how can you let the rope do the talking?
Last summer my sister and I spent a day in London with my mum, celebrating her 75th birthday.
It was a complete treat. A proper afternoon tea and The London Eye, with a visit to Covent Garden in the middle to visit the Charlotte Tilbury store and find a great lipstick.
The experience was magical.
Fabulous service, feeling spoiled and laughing a lot, leaving with absolutely the right thing.
But first, waiting to be invited in.
A few months ago, I booked a hotel and went away for the night.
Just me.
I walked there, took chocolate and a good book, and did nothing except relax, read and be in my own company.
I don’t think I said a word for hours.
It was a wonderful treat. It felt indulgent and exciting (and maybe a little weird?).
And it was EXACTLY what I needed.
Scrolling back through photos recently I found this, taken by my daughter as I attempted to recreate a teenage eye roll.
It made me laugh. And also perfectly summed up how I felt (and most likely what I looked like) when my coach first asked me the hardest questions I find to answer:
What do you want to acknowledge yourself for?
What skills or qualities about yourself are you celebrating?
Does it feel like you’ve been working towards, or through, something for so long and you’re not there yet?
Are you longing to be the other side of something (an illness, a decision, a project) and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel?
Are you frustrated and a little overwhelmed? Doing everything right but it doesn’t seem to be coming together?
If so, this one’s for you.
