Systems for Success

Do you need a filing system?

Do you need a filing system?

I started writing a weekly reflection back in October 2022. As well as sharing them here, I created a blog page on my website where they all live.

The vision to was to create a useful resource, both for me and others. A kind of library - a place to store and structure what I was writing and learning about, for the benefit of me and anyone who wanted to access it.

Except I never put a filing system in, so it became less of a library and more of a disorganised and increasingly large pile!

If only there was a way of grouping and organising them to make them searchable. Ah, Categories and Tags - the things I’d ignored since the start…

The power of a support system

The power of a support system

The first half of May has mainly been about the Lake District, first on a family trip, and most recently at the Fred Whitton Challenge in Grasmere.

It’s an event that my husband has done solo for the last few years, first as a rider and most recently as an artist, but this time I went with him.

What a gift.

Time in a gorgeous location, a fun shared experience, a super friendly event with incredible community spirit, the loveliest people - plus, witnessing the true power of a support system.

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

Over the summer I’ve been listening to the Books, Beach & Beyond podcast, where all kinds of writers are interviewed about their journey to where they are now, what they write, how they write, and why they write.

I love it.

A question the hosts often ask is this one: Are you a plotter (plans out everything in detail before they start writing), or a pantser (starts with an idea and lets it unfold as they go)?

The answers vary hugely. Both types exist and are successful - there’s no right way or best way - but they definitely know which one they are.

It feels like this question is useful in so many more contexts! How do we like to approach the story of our lives? Our work? Our play?

What helps you get your bearings?

What helps you get your bearings?

For 3 days recently, part of my daily commute was a walk from London Victoria to Marble Arch, through a sunny Hyde Park.

It’s not a route I’ve done before, and it’s safe to say I’m not a natural navigator. I’m terrible at finding my way to new places on my own the first time (and often a few times after that!).

In the past I’ve judged myself for this. It felt like a weakness I should be able to fix.

Now I use Maps.

What's your plan?

What's your plan?

Does it feel like you need to have a detailed plan when you’re at the start of a new adventure?

Perhaps a switch of career, or a new job, or a sabbatical, maybe even a gap year.

So you don’t have to sit with the uncertainty.

And so other people don’t worry about you?

When we think about what we want to create in our lives, and how we can get there, it can be super tempting to try and create a straight line between here and there.

If we can’t see all the steps it can feel like we’re not going to make it.

And so our brain really wants to decide on on a plan, and stick to it.

To create it all before we start.

It’s a really common way to help us feel safe and in control. And yet…it’s impossible to do.

Do you have a greenhouse for ideas?

Do you have a greenhouse for ideas?

“Where do you get your ideas from?”

I was asked this recently, and I replied that I see ideas everywhere.

I’ll notice something - a visual, a sentence in a book, a view, a part of a conversation - and an idea forms in my brain. Sometimes it’s just a fragment, and sometimes it seems to download, fully formed.

And I then realised that wasn’t the whole story.

When I reflected on it further I realised that I’ve been increasing my capacity to have ideas over time. I’ve been building a habit.

It’s a practice, not a gift.

When you have a queue of people wanting your time, energy and attention...

When you have a queue of people wanting your time, energy and attention...

…how can you let the rope do the talking?

Last summer my sister and I spent a day in London with my mum, celebrating her 75th birthday.

It was a complete treat. A proper afternoon tea and The London Eye, with a visit to Covent Garden in the middle to visit the Charlotte Tilbury store and find a great lipstick.

The experience was magical.

Fabulous service, feeling spoiled and laughing a lot, leaving with absolutely the right thing.

But first, waiting to be invited in.

Who's in your support system?

Who's in your support system?

Most Friday mornings you’ll find me walking our dog in the park with friends.

We’re all mums of teenagers, and share experiences, learnings and hacks for the various challenges and situations we face. It’s good to get it all out and leave it in the park!

They are ‘friends who get where I am now’ – and form part of a wider support system that has evolved and grown as I have.

When I reflect on who else is part of the system, I can see how varied it is – and how far it stretches.

What I've learned the hard way...

Over the summer I was on a flight with my family, and my sister’s family, heading back to Houston with them.

Ever mindful of hydration, I flipped the lid on my water bottle - and was promptly and thoroughly drenched by a plume of water! I shrieked. Several rows away my nephew said “that’s Aunty Caz!”.

Never again. Lesson learned the hard way :-)

It got me reflecting on what else I’ve learned the hard way. Here are a few that came to mind straight away:

1.      When I feel overwhelmed, it’s time to simplify

2.      Pay attention to what my body is telling me (or it will shout)

3.      It’s important to say no to things that don’t feel right anymore

4.      Feedback is a personal perspective, not a judgement

5.      Sometimes all you need to do is listen

6.      Marathons are not my friend (it took 5 to learn this one)

7.      Volunteers, not recruits

8.      If you don’t like it, do what you can to change it

9.      Always have the conversation. No one is a mind reader.

10.    You absolutely can’t please everyone (and it’s OK not to)

Of course, the tricky thing is not just to learn the lesson, but remember the lesson. Otherwise, we keep having to relearn it - over and over again…

I’m not likely to make the same mistake with my water bottle now, but I know that the others may well keep coming back to haunt me – and often do.

So how to keep the learning present?

In coaching there’s a useful too we use called ‘structures’ – things that intervene in everyday life to remind us of what we want to remember. Different types of structure appeal to different people, or work for different situations. They can be visual, tactile, auditory – for example a song, an item of clothing, an object, a calendar reminder…

I keep my lessons visible in a way that works for me – among other things I have various post it’s dotted around, and also a necklace that I wear to remind me that it’s OK to be the exception to the rule.

They all help me remember what I already know, but forget sometimes when life gets in the way!

What have you learned the hard way?

And how can you remember the lesson you learned so you don’t have to learn it again?

Wishing you all a great week,