Do you ever find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place in your mind?
Caught between two opposing options - both of which feel like a compromise, neither of which feel like a realistic solution?
Endlessly going back and forth between the pros and cons of each without finding an answer?
It’s not a fun place to be, and many of us get stuck here.
One of my favourite parts of a yoga class is the beginning.
Coming in, finding a space, sitting down, and then lying down – the lovely feeling that there is nowhere else to be, nothing else to do.
My back takes a breath, my body relaxes, the snow globe of my mind settles and clears. All in the space of a few minutes!
A simple act, that feels like it shouldn’t do much, but seems to work magic on me.
So now I do this more often.
We spend a lot of our lives consuming our worlds. Information, learning, conversations, content - words, both online and in real life.
It can mean our thinking brains are on the go a lot - interpreting, digesting, processing. So when we want to relax, it can be hard to step out of that mode. We can turn to more words, on a screen or on a page.
I’m one of those people - I always have a book on the go - but sometimes I already have enough words in my head!
This is when I reach for a puzzle.
Do you have a lot going on in your head right now?
I do.
We have two teenagers, each doing big exams this year.
Work is busy in a brilliant way.
I’ve said yes to a few things that feel good scary.
Some things are closing and others are beginning.
My brain is busy busy whirring away with ideas...
…and I also feel a strong desire to rest.
What to do?
When I’m coaching with someone - and when I’m being coached - there can often be a sense of stuckness.
We know what we need to do to move forward.
To get closer to where we want to be.
And yet, we don’t do it.
Sometimes we can be stuck with our foot on the brake, teetering on the edge of a step. Worried about making a mistake or going in the wrong direction.
Sometimes we can be stuck with our foot on the accelerator, not daring to slow down because we think we don’t have time. Scared that if we stop things could fall apart.
In the worst cases, it’s both. Pulling us in different directions and adding to the overwhelm.
It’s so easy to find ourselves here. Stuck between speeding up, and slowing down.
“Do you find yourself contrasting how someone else’s life looks on the outside, with how yours feels on the inside?
Can it feel as though everyone else is doing it ‘better’?
Is compare and despair an easy trap for you to fall into?
Me too. My inner critic absolutely loves to jump into this place.
A snapshot of someone else’s life can bring up a whole lot of stuff for many of us. Especially if it lands in a tender spot.
This was brought to life for me recently - but from the other side of the experience…
A few weeks ago I was writing an email and found myself comparing two slightly different versions.
Which was better?
Was there a magically perfect version to be created by combining them?
What would be the best one that would make the biggest difference?
And then I caught myself. Or not me, but my inner perfectionist who loves to get her magnifying glass out and scrutinise the smallest of details.
We have two paths down to the cabin at the end of our garden. Can you spot them?
There’s the one we want everyone to take…
… and the one the dog has created all on his own by hurling himself down the garden.
He does this when he desperately needs to assess the situation and combat any threats to our borders. He’s on autopilot.
Funnily enough he trots back down on the ‘official one’, when he’s calm and relaxed and has everything under control.
We all have these types of automatic reactions, but often they’re not as easy to spot!
I’m having a lot of coaching conversations about uncertainly at the moment.
About how to navigate through it at a time of restructures, changing circumstances, and other unknowns, as well as how to help others navigate through it too.
One of the main questions has been how to start a conversation about it, in a way that’s useful.
And how to hold the worry of other people while you’re also holding your own.
I’ve been pulling out The Huge Bag of Worries by Virginia Ironside, and sharing the wisdom within it as a useful tool to explore.
