Are you having enough fun?

Are you having enough fun?

We’ve just returned from a 2-week trip to visit family in the States.

It’s always a special time.

We live in different countries and it’s lovely to see each other, catch up with where we are, see how everyone has grown and changed, and generally be a part of each others lives for a while.

There are everyday moments of connection - the simple pleasures of going to the supermarket together. Running errands, making meals, watching Netflix, walking their dog, putting coffee on.

And there are the sparkly, memory making, moments where we had fun and played together.

Where am I???

Where am I???

Recently I was lost in Houston.

On a morning walk I got completely disoriented and couldn’t find my way back to my sister’s house. I saw the bridge of the freeway and my heart sank!

This is not the first time I have got lost.

I have a terrible sense of direction, and on holiday it’s at its worst without my trusty safety net of Maps.

Ironic as I spend my days focusing on finding direction in life and work!

Do you need to design in some rest weeks?

Do you need to design in some rest weeks?

How does your energy work over time?

Do you wake up every day, every week, of every year with the same amount of it?

Or does it ebb and flow?

With times when you feel you could take on anything, times when you need to curl up and hibernate, and times when you just want to get outside and play?

Like the seasons of the year, most of us vary. We don’t all have access to the same amount of energy all the time.

And yet we can expect that we ‘should’, and feel surprised that we’re not operating at our ‘usual’ capacity.

This is me right now. Really ready for a hammock!

What gives you a sense of purpose?

What gives you a sense of purpose?

When I work with people around purpose the biggest emotion is often a sense of relief.

That I’m not going to ask them to find their ‘one thing’.

That our goal isn’t a mythical quest that they have to strive to work on for the rest of their lives.

That it’s not (always) about saving the whole world.

Instead it’s about connecting with how we show up, and the impact we have, when we feel a sense of purpose - when we feel ‘on purpose’.

Do you have a 10 year timeline?

Do you have a 10 year timeline?

As a child we are often asked what we want to be when we grow up, and the answer for so many of us is…

“I don’t know yet”.

As an adult we are often asked where we want to be in 10 years time, and the answer for so many of us is…

“I don’t know yet”.

We don’t have a crystal ball.

We don’t have control over so many things that could happen.

We perhaps haven’t even thought about it.

And perhaps we don’t want to, because of the risk it might not turn out the way we planned.

And yet… even if you don’t - and really can’t - know exactly where you will be, and what you will be doing, it can still be super useful to map out a ten year timeline.

What would be the most...?

What would be the most...?

When you feel like there’s a right answer to something, and you’re not sure what it is, how do you feel?


Energised and open? Excited by all the possibilities?

Probably not.

Stuck? Anxious? Scared of getting it wrong? Worried you’ll make a mistake that can’t be undone?

More likely!

Often we can get really stuck trying to work out the right answer to something.

Which way to go? Which direction to pick? Which option to choose?

It can feel black and white, as though one way is good and the other not. As though there’s no going back. The decision making process can feel tight, and stressful.

These types of right/wrong choices can come up in coaching conversations. Often around the big things, but often about the small things too.

What does your anger feel like?

What does your anger feel like?

I’ve just finished a yoga class where I experienced really strong feelings of anger. And it was brilliant!

When I was a little girl I was super connected to my anger. I could feel it freely and easily - and often did.

As I grew older I lost my connection with it.

I wasn’t sure how to express it when I felt it (because good girls don’t get angry), and eventually I wasn’t even sure how to recognise it.

It got jumbled up in my body with other emotions.

Until recently.

Until I felt A L L the yoga rage in a hot Hatha class with the fabulous Vinna Barber.

Who's your alter ego?

Who's your alter ego?

This label has been with me for the last 5 years.

It dates from when I did the brilliant Co-Active Training Institute Fundamentals coaching course, from an exercise a couple of days in.

In small groups each person had some time in the spotlight, and everyone took it in turns to acknowledge them.

To name the qualities they saw that shone out into the world.

To share the qualities they wanted to see more of, that could come to the surface and be more visible.

It was incredibly powerful to be seen in this way.

This label came from the last part - an archetype to sum up the noticings. An alter ego to play with for the rest of the day.

How does the penny drop for you?

How does the penny drop for you?

There’s a magical moment when we go from knowing something rationally to really *knowing* it.

When the mists clear and the penny drops.

When we know exactly what’s right and what to do next.

It’s especially magical when we’ve been sitting with something for a while. A big decision. A life choice. A crossroads. When something that has been stuck unlocks.

So how do you get to that point?

What are your career criteria?

What are your career criteria?

In 2011, when I was in the messy liminal space between roles, I wrote my criteria for what I wanted from the next stage of my working life.

I went back through my CV and thought about when I’d been happiest and at my best.

I thought about what I’d learned from realising I wanted and needed to change paths.

I gathered the threads from the journey I’d been on with my first ever coach - the wondrous Nicola Jones.


These 5 questions acted as my career compass - a set of filters that helped me land happily in the world of consultancy for the next 7 years.


Over a decade later it’s one of my favourite coaching tools.