How are you feeling at the start of this new year?
Raring to go, or feeling like you want to take it slowly?
Keen to set a big goal for the year, or still emerging from the last one?
Off to a fast start, or worrying that everyone else is out of the blocks and you’re being left behind?
If you are feeling like you need a little time, you’re not alone.
“The Pause is the full stop that allows us to consider the next sentence of our life” Danielle North
Around the end of December my husband and I sit down with our family calendar, take a look back at the year and reflect on what’s happened.
Where did we go? What did we do? What were the big events and the little memories (we are always astonished at how much we have already forgotten about!)?
I am the proud owner of a standing desk. I’ve had it for about 6 weeks now and I LOVE it.
I stand up to coach and feel both more grounded and more flexible. I am less tired at the end of the day - less crunched up.
I get a ridiculous sense of joy when I press the button to move it up and down!
So, how did I make the decision to get one?
When you need to make an important decision, what comes up for you?
Do you agonise over the choices, worrying about what will happen if you make the wrong one?
Do you instinctively know which one feels right, but can’t quite bring yourself to make the final call?
Does it feel like you are stuck in the same thought cycle of pros and cons?
Do you ever find it hard to explain something that has had a big impact on you? An experience? A great book? An idea?
Perhaps you’ve found yourself describing it in detail to someone, only to realise you’re not communicating it well at all?
I have been working with my current coach (the calm, clear, completely fabulous Sue Belton) for the last 6 months. Throughout that time, I have been singing her praises to everyone I meet.
I love working with her.
Most Friday mornings you’ll find me walking our dog in the park with friends.
We’re all mums of teenagers, and share experiences, learnings and hacks for the various challenges and situations we face. It’s good to get it all out and leave it in the park!
They are ‘friends who get where I am now’ – and form part of a wider support system that has evolved and grown as I have.
When I reflect on who else is part of the system, I can see how varied it is – and how far it stretches.
Over the summer I was on a flight with my family, and my sister’s family, heading back to Houston with them.
Ever mindful of hydration, I flipped the lid on my water bottle - and was promptly and thoroughly drenched by a plume of water! I shrieked. Several rows away my nephew said “that’s Aunty Caz!”.
Never again. Lesson learned the hard way :-)
It got me reflecting on what else I’ve learned the hard way. Here are a few that came to mind straight away:
1. When I feel overwhelmed, it’s time to simplify
2. Pay attention to what my body is telling me (or it will shout)
3. It’s important to say no to things that don’t feel right anymore
4. Feedback is a personal perspective, not a judgement
5. Sometimes all you need to do is listen
6. Marathons are not my friend (it took 5 to learn this one)
7. Volunteers, not recruits
8. If you don’t like it, do what you can to change it
9. Always have the conversation. No one is a mind reader.
10. You absolutely can’t please everyone (and it’s OK not to)
Of course, the tricky thing is not just to learn the lesson, but remember the lesson. Otherwise, we keep having to relearn it - over and over again…
I’m not likely to make the same mistake with my water bottle now, but I know that the others may well keep coming back to haunt me – and often do.
So how to keep the learning present?
In coaching there’s a useful too we use called ‘structures’ – things that intervene in everyday life to remind us of what we want to remember. Different types of structure appeal to different people, or work for different situations. They can be visual, tactile, auditory – for example a song, an item of clothing, an object, a calendar reminder…
I keep my lessons visible in a way that works for me – among other things I have various post it’s dotted around, and also a necklace that I wear to remind me that it’s OK to be the exception to the rule.
They all help me remember what I already know, but forget sometimes when life gets in the way!
What have you learned the hard way?
And how can you remember the lesson you learned so you don’t have to learn it again?
Wishing you all a great week,
Do you ever have too many ideas crowding around in your head? Along with a ticker tape to do list? And another bucket of things you don’t want to forget?
Taking up valuable headspace that you’d really rather use to move forward?
Keeping you stuck where you are, rather than where you want to go?
It’s not just you.
