Do you ever find it hard to explain something that has had a big impact on you? An experience? A great book? An idea?

Perhaps you’ve found yourself describing it in detail to someone, only to realise you’re not communicating it well at all?

I have been working with my current coach (the calm, clear, completely fabulous Sue Belton) for the last 6 months. Throughout that time, I have been singing her praises to everyone I meet.

I love working with her.

I feel different. I’ve made big shifts. I’m clearer and calmer. I’ve embraced a new way of approaching my work and life, my coaching, my thoughts. I feel like I’m winning at being me so much more.

Others have noticed the change in me and want to know what the secret sauce has been. What is it, exactly, that’s made the difference? Has it been worth the investment? Is it something they should consider?

I’ve felt a little frustrated at the questions. It’s not easy to boil it down to one thing, one aha, one nugget to be packaged up and shared. It has been really hard to explain why it’s SO good. I’ve rambled quite a lot!

Finally, in conversation last week the mists cleared and I started to make sense of it.

What made the difference?

Owning my I.

Instead of going into detail about the process, I shared my experience of it.

Instead of trying to explain the benefits, I focused on the impact it has had on me.

In coaching this is a skill we call ‘bottom lining’ – getting to the heart of what matters most, without disappearing into the detail of the story. Focusing on extracting the essence of it, rather than explaining it, chapter and verse.

So, the next time someone asks about an experience you have found magical, take a breath and own your I – how has it been, and what have you gained?

What’s magical in your life?

And how can owning your I and bottom lining help you put it into words?

Wishing you all a great week,