When we’re grappling with a big decision our thoughts and feelings can go round and round, stuck in a loop that we can’t find a way to divert or direct.

It can feel exhausting, like we’re not getting anywhere, and yet… sometimes circling is an important part of our process.

In my own experience - and in coaching others - I find that we can often circle and explore the same topic or decisions over a number of sessions, days, weeks or months.

Especially if it’s a big one. One that takes us somewhere new or different in our life, work or relationships. One that impacts our lives or the people around us.

And that’s absolutely fine.

When we step into a larger space in our lives - through promotion, a life transition, a new direction - it often brings a lot more stuff with it.

More responsibilities, more scope, more things to manage and fit in, more people or meetings or learning or challenge.

So how do we make it all fit?

I absolutely love a good declutter.

Opening something up, seeing what’s there, clearing out what’s no longer needed or relevant anymore, and then organising the rest.

So satisfying!

Every area of my life benefits from a good declutter, and so does my brain.

Way back in the day, when my husband and I got married, we had a clear sense of what we wanted our wedding to be like - partly based on other people’s weddings, partly based on how we were as a couple, and a lot based on our budget!

We knew we wanted to do it ‘our way’ - to celebrate the start of a new chapter by bringing people that were important to us together, in a simple, relaxed, ‘us’ way.

We knew we wanted our guests to have a fun day and evening with good food and wine, and lots of laughter. To know each other and have felt a part of something personal.

Many years ago, a defining experience was not getting a job I thought I really wanted.

I had applied to a graduate scheme that felt like the perfect next step, and made it all the way to the last stage before not getting an offer.

It felt like a shocking failure. An example of not measuring up.

For many years I made it all about me and what I’d done wrong. If only I could have been different, been more of what they were looking for.

I never stopped to wonder if it simply wasn’t the right fit for me.

This is one of my favourite post-it notes.

I remind myself of it - a lot!

I share it with others in coaching sessions - a lot!

It’s a multi-tasker, a practical life lesson in so many areas.

A few weeks ago I flew out to see my sister in the US.

The purpose was clear - to have a fun break, and spend some quality time together.

The plan for the trip was pretty loose. We had a few ideas - setting up her classroom for the new school year, some favourite places to go - but nothing set.

Which, as it turns out, was a very good thing…

Does it feel like you have too many things to do?

An overwhelming to do list?

With not enough time in the day to get it done?

When we step into a larger space - in our work or life - it can feel as though there’s a lot more to do, all at once.

It can be hard to work out what we need to hold onto, and what we can let go of.

Especially if we’ve been praised and rewarded for being someone who gets a lot of stuff done.

Do you like to dive straight in?

To say yes in the moment?

To trust your gut, make fast decisions and get into action?

And does that work for you?

Or not?

Because there can be different speeds to make great choices.

I love a good declutter - of clothes, books, anything really.

The feeling of sorting out and creating order is super satisfying.

So, imagine my joy at being able to do the same thing with people’s to do lists in a coaching session!

Specifically, the type of list of things that aren’t getting done.

The things that feel too big to tick off easily, so they lurk at the bottom, and often get carried over from week to week.

The things that you know you ‘should’ get to, but can’t seem to get into action on.

And the longer they lurk, the harder it feels to get started.