When we’re grappling with a decision our thoughts and feelings can go round and round, stuck in a loop that we can’t find a way to divert or direct.

It can feel exhausting, like we’re not getting anywhere, and yet… sometimes circling is an important part of our process.

In my own experience - and in coaching others - I find that we can often circle and explore the same topic or decisions over a number of sessions, days, weeks or months.

Especially if it’s a big one. One that takes us somewhere new or different in our life, work or relationships. One that impacts our lives or the people around us.

And that’s absolutely fine.

Some of us can make these decisions quickly and instinctively, and some of us need the time and space to circle and process.

If this is us, the trick is to identify what’s keeping us circling - generally one of 3 things - and work with where we are:

If we’re not sure WHERE to go - if it’s the right place or way for us - we can explore it more fully. We can take a look from different angles, explore the edges, track how we feel about it over time, notice what stays the same and what changes, get a little closer and then pull back.
If we’re pretty sure it’s the right choice, but we’re not sure HOW to get there - we can build up the courage or the skills or experience to be able to do it.
If we’re absolutely sure of both of these, but we’re stuck on the WHEN - we can map out our options. We can circle intentionally, waiting for the moment where the conditions or information are good enough to act.

And this can take some time.

Decision making on big choices is a balance of process and timing, a mix of the where and the how and the when.

It’s about bringing together the different parts of us - intuition and logic, head and heart, mind and body, ideals and reality, vision and practicality, growth and familiarity, risk and safety.

And if we’re making the decision with someone else? We’re appreciating and working with our different speeds and processes.

So if you’re circling a big decision, remember that it’s OK to keep circling if you’re not sure where, or how, or when yet.

It’s ok to take time to come to clarity, to slow down before you speed up. As long as you’re making progress and moving forward, bit by bit.

Are you going round in circles on a big decision?

Are you stuck on the where, the how or the when?

And what do you need to help you circle productively?

Wishing you all a week of appreciating your process,