Are you trying to follow someone else’s recipe?

Are you trying to follow someone else’s recipe?

When you’re doing - or being, or experiencing - something for the first time, do you reach for an existing recipe?

I know I do, it’s been my default.

It can feel easier to look to someone else for the ‘right’ answer or approach.

After all, they’ve done the hard work and figured out the solution - surely if it works for them it will work for me?

Especially if it’s a proven formula, or it seems to be working for other people, or it’s simply the way it’s always done.

And yet so often, it hasn’t worked out that way. The results have been a mixed bag.

Instead of "Could you give me some feedback?"

Instead of "Could you give me some feedback?"

Feedback is one of my favourite topics to coach around. There’s so much to unpack and explore, and a lot we can reframe in a short amount of time.

While most often we’re working through how to give and receive it, there can also be times when we want more than we’re getting - because how can we improve if we don’t know where we are?

We just need to remember to ask a useful question, so that we get some useful information in response - instead of defaulting to “Could you give me some feedback?”.

Are you trying to rush the process?

Are you trying to rush the process?

I love fitting pieces together to create a picture - in all areas of life.

It’s such a joy to make sense of things and see how they come together, to join the dots, to see the clarity emerge and the wood for the trees.

I know now that taking time at the beginning to sort through the pieces is an important part of the process.

In a puzzle that’s finding the edges, grouping obvious colours, gathering things to build around. And it’s a pretty similar process in other situations too.

I know how useful it is, and I am always, always tempted to skip it, because I’m impatient to get going and want to be onto the satisfying part!

Do you need to make purpose your bouncer*?

Do you need to make purpose your bouncer*?

Way back in the day, when my husband and I got married, we had a clear sense of what we wanted our wedding to be like - partly based on other people’s weddings, partly based on how we were as a couple, and a lot based on our budget!

We knew we wanted to do it ‘our way’ - to celebrate the start of a new chapter by bringing people that were important to us together, in a simple, relaxed, ‘us’ way.

We knew we wanted our guests to have a fun day and evening with good food and wine, and lots of laughter. To know each other and have felt a part of something personal.

Do you need to try a sample?

Do you need to try a sample?

I love to read - both real books and on my Kindle, a mix of all kinds of things.

I have authors I auto buy, books that come recommended from friends or on social media, suggestions that pop up on an algorithm.

Each may sound like something I’d want to read. I might already like the author, the idea of the book, or the sound of the reviews - so how to decide which to invest the time and energy in?

If I’m not sure, and sometimes even if I am, I Try a Sample. It’s so useful to read the first pages, have a small taste, get a sense of what’s it’s about in real life.

Often it’s just as I imagined and I go onto buy it. Sometimes it’s just not my cup of tea and I don’t. And both are absolutely fine.

It’s such a gift to have tried it and know whether to say yes, no, or maybe later.

What can you learn from your history?

What can you learn from your history?

Many years ago (almost 30 - eek!) I did a History degree. Not the most obvious first step to a career in marketing, consulting and coaching, but what I really wanted to study.

I loved my teachers at A level and connecting the dots between the past, the present and the future. I loved the stories, the cycles, the learnings, the repeating patterns. I loved finding the thread and making sense of the journey.

I still do.

Do you need to stop and lie down for a moment?

Do you need to stop and lie down for a moment?

One of my favourite parts of a yoga class is the beginning.

Coming in, finding a space, sitting down, and then lying down – the lovely feeling that there is nowhere else to be, nothing else to do.

My back takes a breath, my body relaxes, the snow globe of my mind settles and clears. All in the space of a few minutes!

A simple act, that feels like it shouldn’t do much, but seems to work magic on me.

 

So now I do this more often.

Lessons from knitting - and for 2025

Lessons from knitting - and for 2025

I started knitting when my first child was born, lucky to be patiently taught by a lovely older lady in a local shop.

It was super fun to make cute, small things and I found it creative and relaxing.

Over time it became less fun. As my children got bigger so did the projects, and then (when no one wanted to wear my knitting anymore!) I thought I should challenge myself with 4 needle socks in the round…

I haven’t knitted since - I took something I wanted to do and I set too big, too hard a goal. I took the joy and the sense of creativity and achievement out of it.

Until now. One ball of wool + the simplest, easiest pattern they had in the shop. Starting with something I want to do and can do :-)

It’s also how I’m approaching this year.

What's your prescription for a break?

What's your prescription for a break?

Mine is this picture.

In a cosy chair, in a lovely cafe, with a delicious coffee and some spaciousness - to write, to read, to reflect - to pause before I get back to work and life.

It’s also yin yoga, and a great book, or a jigsaw puzzle, or walk in the fresh air with a podcast, a dog, and/or a companion.

In the last couple of years, it’s even been a night away just for me - to be in my own space, to follow my energy, without being in charge of anyone except me.

It’s useful to know that these things help restore my energy levels, so I can have them as a menu to choose from when I need them.

Otherwise, when I’m tired, it’s too easy to slip into activities that feel like a break but don’t actually do me any good.

(Of course, sometimes I still do this anyway, we’re all a work in progress!).