I’ve had a lot of first sessions recently. Meeting someone for the first time, exploring working together, and asking lots of questions about what’s needed for us to get set up well.
Alongside the purpose of the coaching (the what), is the partnership and the practicalities (the how).
This is such rich territory! Each of us has our own recipe of things that help us work at our best - and we’re all different.
There’s a particular feeling when our energy is being used in the best kind of way.
We know that we’re playing to our natural strengths and having a positive impact on the people and the world around us. There’s an ease, a joy, a sense of being on purpose. At the end of the day we feel emptied out in a good way, full up of the knowing that we’ve shown up at our best.
There’s a particular joy when you achieve something special.
Perhaps a plan comes together, a long-held goal is realised, or something you hadn’t anticipated springs to life. Or you pause to look back and realise you’re exactly where you hoped you could be.
The sense of achievement can be enormous - and accompanied by a whole range of other emotions. Relief, delight, exhaustion, excitement, joy, sadness that something has come to an end, even though that’s what you wanted!
So it helps to take some time to bask in all of it, to let it wash through and over, to settle into it. To reflect on and notice all of the parts and acknowledge them. To celebrate the moment and the work that went into it before moving on to what comes next.
Which can be surprisingly hard to do!
Last week I spent a delightful couple of hours in a Garden to Vase flower arranging workshop with the brilliant Annie Jenkins.
We’d arranged it as a birthday treat for my mum, and 5 of us followed Annie around her garden - finding out all about the different plant varieties, how to cut them, and what to do with them.
We then sat, played, chatted and created in the sunshine. It was a complete treat, a wonderful shared experience, and a fun creative process.
Sometimes, the way we think about ourself or our life can change in an instant. A remark, a conversation, an idea, can throw things up in the air and rearrange them in a different way.
We suddenly see with startling clarity - what’s not working, what needs to change, exactly what we want or where we need to be.
It’s absolutely brilliant! Now we know!
It can also be utterly overwhelming.
When I need to reset, one of my favourite things to do is Yin yoga. It’s a wonderful way to stretch everything out, and I love that I can choose from a range of options to match my mood.
Sometimes I want something more structured - being talked through a sequence step by step.
Other times I want something more spacious - being given the minimal possible cues.
In both cases, my brain knows someone else is handling the process and can focus. It’s the same result from different approaches - tailored to how I’m feeling and what I’m looking for.
I love these new signs on the gates in Bushy Park!
I’ve spent years trying to open them the wrong way, or from the wrong side - and now I can get it right.
For my husband they are irrelevant (just look at the hinges!), but for me they are a game changer.
It’s a small prompt that makes it easier for me to do the right thing - and it’s nice to know it wasn’t just me who could use the information :-)
Sometimes in life it can feel as though we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Perhaps we’re trying to make a decision about whether to stay and put up with where we are, or leave now to find something new?
Or choosing whether to keep the peace and stay quiet, or speak up and create conflict?
Or wondering whether to say yes and go all in, or no and let it go?
‘What do I want to do next?’ can feel like a very big question that needs a very specific answer.
It can put us on the spot to find a perfect solution, preferably very quickly!
That’s a lot of pressure on one question - and one answer.
So it can help to change it. To ask ourselves - ‘What could I want to do next?’
