Sometimes in life it can feel as though we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Perhaps we’re trying to make a decision about whether to stay and put up with where we are, or leave now to find something new?
Or choosing whether to keep the peace and stay quiet, or speak up and create conflict?
Or wondering whether to say yes and go all in, or no and let it go?
When I’m trying to figure something out, the hardest place to do so is in my own head.
My thoughts and feelings go round in circles, trying and failing to find a way through - never the most useful process!
Once I get them out - either onto paper, or into words - it’s so much easier to see and understand what I think and feel.
And it’s not just me.
I used to think that every decision could be made logically, until I looked back and realised that all my best ones were made in a different way!
They were the decisions that felt completely right - even if they looked brave or risky to others.
They took me on gap years and solo travel adventures, led me to reapply for Marketing training schemes when I didn’t make it the first time, helped me leave a job I loved (twice) to explore a new path, and so much more.
But for a long time, I couldn’t articulate how I made them.
There’s a magical moment when things become clear.
The penny drops, we see or feel things differently, there’s a shift and a sense of things clicking into place.
Once we know, we can’t unknow - even if our mind tries to talk us out of it and it doesn’t make sense on paper - or to the people around us.
But how do you know when you know?
I have a new pair of jeans. They caught my eye in my local shop and I picked them up on a whim. When I tried them, on I loved them instantly - so comfortable, so soft, such a nice fit!
Then second guessed myself. Were they OK? Did they look OK on me? They were a very different shape, and I didn’t look like I normally did.
I really needed a second opinion, another pair of eyes, a sense check. So, I asked the person in the shop those questions. I know, like and trust her perspective - she always let me know (very directly!) if something suits me or not.
It really helped.
I’ve done more yoga this year than ever before, and I love both the movement and the insights I get on the mat.
So often something a yoga teacher says will strike a chord.
My most recent a-ha moment was about conscious flexibility - actively choosing when to stretch and when not to.
It linked so clearly for me into our personal boundaries.
Lots of us can stretch, accommodate, adjust.
We can hang out in our flexibility. It can become part of who we are.
We can extend ourselves but hurt ourselves in the process.
We can push ourselves beyond our limits trying to keep up with others.
Sometimes its good to stretch - we don’t want to turn into statues.
Sometimes it’s not - we don’t want to snap.
Have you met your future self?
The older, wiser version of you?
The you that’s waiting to emerge over time?
The calm, clear, quiet voice of wisdom we all have within us?
In a powerful yoga session, the brilliant Roisin spoke about making choices that day that our future selves would be grateful for.
They were words that snagged in my brain - and those of other people in the class too. Lots of us gathered round her at the end to ask her to repeat the words.
They were wise words.
And useful ones too.
It’s why visualising our future self - who we will become in 20 years or more - can be a powerful thing to do.
How do you feel about changing your mind?
About unravelling a decision.
About saying no to something that felt like a wholehearted yes when you started? Or vice versa?
It can be hard to reverse a decision that once felt good.
And yet it’s really important to pay attention to where you are now, rather than where you were when you started.
Because circumstances can change. And so can you.
There’s a magical moment when we go from knowing something rationally to really *knowing* it.
When the mists clear and the penny drops.
When we know exactly what’s right and what to do next.
It’s especially magical when we’ve been sitting with something for a while. A big decision. A life choice. A crossroads. When something that has been stuck unlocks.
So how do you get to that point?
