You know those moments that knock you off balance?
Perhaps a conversation takes an unexpected left turn, or you receive disappointing news? Maybe a meeting doesn’t go to plan, or you discover a mistake that you’re not sure how to fix? Or a worry or challenge you thought was sorted reappears in a new way?
We can’t avoid them - they happen to all of us and are part of the natural ups and downs of life - but we can understand what helps us come back to centre when they do. It helps to be prepared!
There have been magical moments in my life when the penny dropped, the insight landed, the way forward became clear. I knew what needed to change!
I’ll never forget those moments, often sparked by an unexpected conversation with someone who unlocked the way forward.
Each one fundamentally changed the course of my life. They led to years out, travel, career paths, resignations, redirections and reinventions.
Which makes it sound like the changes were easy. If only!
When we’re feeling unprepared, unsure, or worried about something it can be tempting to push down the feelings and tell ourselves it will be fine.
If we share our feelings with other people a common response can be for them to tell us the same thing: Don’t worry! You’ll be great! Just be yourself! Go for it! They encourage us to relax, to have more confidence, not to underestimate ourselves.
And sometimes it is about mindset. If we have plenty of experience, evidence, examples that we are prepared and can do it, it’s absolutely time to take care of our safety instinct and that pesky voice of ‘not good enough’.
But sometimes the feelings fit the circumstances, especially if we’re doing something for the first time or stepping into a larger space - taking on new responsibilities, interviewing for a role that would be a stretch, thinking about making a leap.
Last week I spent a chunk of time back in Yorkshire on retreat.
The same venue, another brilliant group of women, another transformative experience to absorb and reflect on.
Usually I drive straight home afterwards, using the 5-hour drive to decompress before returning to my everyday life. This time I pit stopped with a friend for a night.
What a gift!
Do you ever find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place in your mind?
Caught between two opposing options - both of which feel like a compromise, neither of which feel like a realistic solution?
Endlessly going back and forth between the pros and cons of each without finding an answer?
It’s not a fun place to be, and many of us get stuck here.
One of my favourite parts of a yoga class is the beginning.
Coming in, finding a space, sitting down, and then lying down – the lovely feeling that there is nowhere else to be, nothing else to do.
My back takes a breath, my body relaxes, the snow globe of my mind settles and clears. All in the space of a few minutes!
A simple act, that feels like it shouldn’t do much, but seems to work magic on me.
So now I do this more often.
We spend a lot of our lives consuming our worlds. Information, learning, conversations, content - words, both online and in real life.
It can mean our thinking brains are on the go a lot - interpreting, digesting, processing. So when we want to relax, it can be hard to step out of that mode. We can turn to more words, on a screen or on a page.
I’m one of those people - I always have a book on the go - but sometimes I already have enough words in my head!
This is when I reach for a puzzle.
Do you have a lot going on in your head right now?
I do.
We have two teenagers, each doing big exams this year.
Work is busy in a brilliant way.
I’ve said yes to a few things that feel good scary.
Some things are closing and others are beginning.
My brain is busy busy whirring away with ideas...
…and I also feel a strong desire to rest.
What to do?
When I’m coaching with someone - and when I’m being coached - there can often be a sense of stuckness.
We know what we need to do to move forward.
To get closer to where we want to be.
And yet, we don’t do it.
Sometimes we can be stuck with our foot on the brake, teetering on the edge of a step. Worried about making a mistake or going in the wrong direction.
Sometimes we can be stuck with our foot on the accelerator, not daring to slow down because we think we don’t have time. Scared that if we stop things could fall apart.
In the worst cases, it’s both. Pulling us in different directions and adding to the overwhelm.
It’s so easy to find ourselves here. Stuck between speeding up, and slowing down.
