You know those moments that knock you off balance?
Perhaps a conversation takes an unexpected left turn, or you receive disappointing news? Maybe a meeting doesn’t go to plan, or you discover a mistake that you’re not sure how to fix? Or a worry or challenge you thought was sorted reappears in a new way?
We can’t avoid them - they happen to all of us and are part of the natural ups and downs of life - but we can understand what helps us come back to centre when they do. It helps to be prepared!
There have been magical moments in my life when the penny dropped, the insight landed, the way forward became clear. I knew what needed to change!
I’ll never forget those moments, often sparked by an unexpected conversation with someone who unlocked the way forward.
Each one fundamentally changed the course of my life. They led to years out, travel, career paths, resignations, redirections and reinventions.
Which makes it sound like the changes were easy. If only!
When we’re feeling unprepared, unsure, or worried about something it can be tempting to push down the feelings and tell ourselves it will be fine.
If we share our feelings with other people a common response can be for them to tell us the same thing: Don’t worry! You’ll be great! Just be yourself! Go for it! They encourage us to relax, to have more confidence, not to underestimate ourselves.
And sometimes it is about mindset. If we have plenty of experience, evidence, examples that we are prepared and can do it, it’s absolutely time to take care of our safety instinct and that pesky voice of ‘not good enough’.
But sometimes the feelings fit the circumstances, especially if we’re doing something for the first time or stepping into a larger space - taking on new responsibilities, interviewing for a role that would be a stretch, thinking about making a leap.
Our dog is brilliant at knowing what he needs to balance his system.
A dip to cool off on a hot day, a full body shake after a stressful experience, time on his own in an empty room when he wants space, to be right up next to you when he doesn’t.
If he’s cross, or frustrated, or scared, or overwhelmed by his surroundings, there’s generally a clear reason.
There’s a simplicity to it. Noticing when he’s out of balance and finding what he needs to come back to it.
I’ve just finished a yoga class where I experienced really strong feelings of anger. And it was brilliant!
When I was a little girl I was super connected to my anger. I could feel it freely and easily - and often did.
As I grew older I lost my connection with it.
I wasn’t sure how to express it when I felt it (because good girls don’t get angry), and eventually I wasn’t even sure how to recognise it.
It got jumbled up in my body with other emotions.
Until recently.
Until I felt A L L the yoga rage in a hot Hatha class with the fabulous Vinna Barber.
The first date my husband and I went on was to see Pulp Fiction at the cinema. He quickly realised I’m not good with the scary bits!
I spent most of the film with my face pressed into his shoulder and my fingers in my ears (miraculously we’re still together nearly 30 years later).
I’m still not great with anticipatory fear on screen. I close my eyes. I block my ears. I find it really hard to watch.
And it can affect life off screen too. Fear of what might be - the unknown - can often slow me down and keep me stuck.
And yet…
