There have been magical moments in my life when the penny dropped, the insight landed, the way forward became clear. I knew what needed to change!
I’ll never forget those moments, often sparked by an unexpected conversation with someone who unlocked the way forward.
Each one fundamentally changed the course of my life. They led to years out, travel, career paths, resignations, redirections and reinventions.
Which makes it sound like the changes were easy. If only!
When we’re feeling unprepared, unsure, or worried about something it can be tempting to push down the feelings and tell ourselves it will be fine.
If we share our feelings with other people a common response can be for them to tell us the same thing: Don’t worry! You’ll be great! Just be yourself! Go for it! They encourage us to relax, to have more confidence, not to underestimate ourselves.
And sometimes it is about mindset. If we have plenty of experience, evidence, examples that we are prepared and can do it, it’s absolutely time to take care of our safety instinct and that pesky voice of ‘not good enough’.
But sometimes the feelings fit the circumstances, especially if we’re doing something for the first time or stepping into a larger space - taking on new responsibilities, interviewing for a role that would be a stretch, thinking about making a leap.
One of the simplest ways to have a more successful day is to start with something that gives you energy.
A workout before you start work. Some fresh air before you settle at your desk. Doing the thing you’re most looking forward to first, rather than saving it for last.
Fuelling our energy first really works.
Last week I spent a chunk of time back in Yorkshire on retreat.
The same venue, another brilliant group of women, another transformative experience to absorb and reflect on.
Usually I drive straight home afterwards, using the 5-hour drive to decompress before returning to my everyday life. This time I pit stopped with a friend for a night.
What a gift!
I’m endlessly fascinated by what brings out the best in us.
How do we like to work? How do we set our lives up so we can win at being us? What gives us good energy - inside and out?
We’re all uniquely wired, so it makes sense to take some time to figure it out. It gives us an incredible foundation, and pays back brilliantly when put into practice.
Do you ever find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place in your mind?
Caught between two opposing options - both of which feel like a compromise, neither of which feel like a realistic solution?
Endlessly going back and forth between the pros and cons of each without finding an answer?
It’s not a fun place to be, and many of us get stuck here.
This was me in Brighton last week.
I had 2 wonderful nights by the sea, coaching as usual from a different place. Plus leisurely breakfasts, walks along the seafront, yoga, reading, baths and quiet evenings.
Quality time in my own space, with the freedom to follow my energy and empty out - and the added bonus of being a little cooler than London temperatures.
A complete gift.
Our dog is brilliant at knowing what he needs to balance his system.
A dip to cool off on a hot day, a full body shake after a stressful experience, time on his own in an empty room when he wants space, to be right up next to you when he doesn’t.
If he’s cross, or frustrated, or scared, or overwhelmed by his surroundings, there’s generally a clear reason.
There’s a simplicity to it. Noticing when he’s out of balance and finding what he needs to come back to it.
One of my favourite parts of a yoga class is the beginning.
Coming in, finding a space, sitting down, and then lying down – the lovely feeling that there is nowhere else to be, nothing else to do.
My back takes a breath, my body relaxes, the snow globe of my mind settles and clears. All in the space of a few minutes!
A simple act, that feels like it shouldn’t do much, but seems to work magic on me.
So now I do this more often.
Mine is this picture.
In a cosy chair, in a lovely cafe, with a delicious coffee and some spaciousness - to write, to read, to reflect - to pause before I get back to work and life.
It’s also yin yoga, and a great book, or a jigsaw puzzle, or walk in the fresh air with a podcast, a dog, and/or a companion.
In the last couple of years, it’s even been a night away just for me - to be in my own space, to follow my energy, without being in charge of anyone except me.
It’s useful to know that these things help restore my energy levels, so I can have them as a menu to choose from when I need them.
Otherwise, when I’m tired, it’s too easy to slip into activities that feel like a break but don’t actually do me any good.
(Of course, sometimes I still do this anyway, we’re all a work in progress!).
