What would your life look like if you viewed it from above?

What would your life look like if you viewed it from above?

I love this picture.

It represents the fun of being up high, the joy of early dog ownership, the beauty of seeing the landscape spread out down below.

It was taken on holiday in West Wales back in 2018. Freddie and I are at the top of Mwnt, while my husband and children are on the beach down below.

They were happy doing, and I was happy being and seeing them.

Seeing our lives from above like this can be both calming and grounding. Things really do look different, and feel different, when we look down on our lives rather than being in them.

It gives us a moment to pause, to see the bigger picture, to put things in context.

Can I talk at you for a bit?

Can I talk at you for a bit?

One simple question has made an enormous difference to my life, my relationships, my choices - and a lot of conversations with my husband: “Can I talk at you for a bit?”

I know now that when I’m stuck or need to work through something, I do my best thinking and feeling when the words come out of my head.

Often, I really don’t know how I feel about something until I say it out loud, and it can take me by surprise.

I’m so glad that I know this now, because it’s not a neat process.

It can take some time and lots of verbal circles - creating a messy first draft and then revising in real time. I need to follow the thread without worrying about it making sense.

And for that, I need a patient witness to listen and let me talk it out. To be OK with me talking AT them for a bit, rather than WITH them.

How to feel more comfortable in the spotlight

How to feel more comfortable in the spotlight

Standing up and speaking in front of an audience - whether sharing a story, giving a speech, or presenting your work - can be a wonderful experience.

It’s an opportunity to have an impact on people who matter to you, personally or professionally.

And it can also be completely nerve wracking.

Our minds can go wild - the doubt can creep in and the ‘what ifs’ start - and our body can get in the mix too.

My tells? My heart begins to pound and my legs start to shake - a winning combination!

And I know I’m not alone.

Is this a good fit for me?

Is this a good fit for me?

Many years ago, a defining experience was not getting a job I thought I really wanted.

I had applied to a graduate scheme that felt like the perfect next step, and made it all the way to the last stage before not getting an offer.

It felt like a shocking failure. An example of not measuring up.

For many years I made it all about me and what I’d done wrong. If only I could have been different, been more of what they were looking for.

I never stopped to wonder if it simply wasn’t the right fit for me.

How to have a useful career conversation...

How to have a useful career conversation...

…when you don’t know exactly what you want to do next.

Many of us dread being asked the question - where do you want to be in 5 years?

We simply can’t tell you the role we want to be in, or where we want to be. We don’t know.

And that’s absolutely fine.

Except… it can be really hard when other people know their answer, and it feels that we should too.

So, we default to the response we feel we ‘should’ give, or leave it wide open - neither of which feel right.

But there is a different way to have a useful career conversation.

Don't create unnecessary boxes!

Don't create unnecessary boxes!

Recently I found myself creating a framework for the different types of people I coach, and the different types of ways we coach together.

There is now SO much variety, and I thought I’d found a brilliant way of organising it all.

It felt so interesting - look at these patterns! I could even make it into a 4-box matrix!

It made complete sense in my mind, until…

  • I started to spot the (many) exceptions to the rule.

  • I shared it out loud, trying to explain my thinking, and confused myself each time.

  • I finally realised what a ridiculous thing I was doing (with thanks to Claire Pedrick MCC).

Why was I trying to fit everyone and all their experiences into one of 4 boxes???

The joy of exploring the possibility

The joy of exploring the possibility

Back in April a friend and I applied to take part in the BBC’s Race Across the World.

It was a spontaneous decision, prompted by a conversation on a very long walk, and a quick google search that showed the deadline was in a couple of days.

At first we dismissed it as a ridiculous idea! We agreed that:

  • It was terrible timing - perhaps at some point in the future?

  • It wasn’t possible, we couldn’t take 2 months off from our lives when we played so many roles for so many different people.

  • It was completely pointless - there was no chance of being chosen.

And then we decided to take a few steps…

What's your creative outlet?

What's your creative outlet?

We spend a lot of our lives consuming our worlds. Information, learning, conversations, content - words, both online and in real life.

It can mean our thinking brains are on the go a lot - interpreting, digesting, processing. So when we want to relax, it can be hard to step out of that mode. We can turn to more words, on a screen or on a page.

I’m one of those people - I always have a book on the go - but sometimes I already have enough words in my head!

This is when I reach for a puzzle.

Why repeat an experience?

Why repeat an experience?

I often repeat an experience - I’ll watch a movie again, re read a book, take a favourite route on a dog walk.

I do the same with learning, especially if there’s a training course that I’ve found especially useful.

This autumn will be my 5th time in Tara Mohr’s Playing Big Facilitators Training.

Last month I assisted for the second time on one of the intermediate CTI coach training modules (the incredible Process) after first being a participant in 2018.

It can feel counterintuitive.

Why would I do it again, when I’ve already learned it and been putting it into practice?

Why would I repeat the same experience when there are so many new things I could learn?