How do you feel about owning your “I”?
Sharing your perspective, your preferences, your priorities?
Communicating what you need in the moment - or what you’re looking for in the longer term?
Or are you hoping that your expressions, actions or work will speak for you, and the other person will figure it out for themselves?
One simple question has made an enormous difference to my life, my relationships, my choices - and a lot of conversations with my husband: “Can I talk at you for a bit?”
I know now that when I’m stuck or need to work through something, I do my best thinking and feeling when the words come out of my head.
Often, I really don’t know how I feel about something until I say it out loud, and it can take me by surprise.
I’m so glad that I know this now, because it’s not a neat process.
It can take some time and lots of verbal circles - creating a messy first draft and then revising in real time. I need to follow the thread without worrying about it making sense.
And for that, I need a patient witness to listen and let me talk it out. To be OK with me talking AT them for a bit, rather than WITH them.
It has taken me over 2 years to write this post it!
Over 2 years of feeling a burst of irritation anytime anyone has a wee in our downstairs loo while I’m coaching (it’s the room next door).
Over 2 years of thinking ‘do they not realise I’m coaching?’
Over 2 years of wondering if the sound is audible (!)
And over 2 years of not actually saying anything to anyone in my family…
Until now.
