A few weeks ago I flew out to see my sister in the US.
The purpose was clear - to have a fun break, and spend some quality time together.
The plan for the trip was pretty loose. We had a few ideas - setting up her classroom for the new school year, some favourite places to go - but nothing set.
Which, as it turns out, was a very good thing…
Does it feel like you have too many things to do?
An overwhelming to do list?
With not enough time in the day to get it done?
When we step into a larger space - in our work or life - it can feel as though there’s a lot more to do, all at once.
It can be hard to work out what we need to hold onto, and what we can let go of.
Especially if we’ve been praised and rewarded for being someone who gets a lot of stuff done.
It’s the middle of the year.
A half way point.
A beautiful time to take a step back and look both ways.
To appreciate the progress you’ve made so far, to focus on what’s to come.
When we’re busy in our lives and work, we can forget to pause, to see the bigger picture, to put things into perspective.
And yet it’s so important.
One of my favourite quotes from Danielle North sums this up, “If you never stop to ask yourself how you are doing, how will you ever really know where you are going?”
I’m a big fan of creating clarity from the inside out.
Of shining a spotlight inside to light the way ahead.
Of getting super clear about who we are on the inside, so we can create the life we want on the outside.
It’s what got me into coaching in the first place.
And yet…
Sometimes, it’s not an inside job.
Sometimes, it’s the situation.
Have you ever tried to create the perfect habit… and ended up never getting started?
For a long time I wanted to add some strength training back into my life.
I know it’s important, I feel better when I do it, it feels good to feel stronger.
And yet for a long time I didn’t do it.
And then felt bad about not doing it.
And still didn’t do it.
I love a good declutter - of clothes, books, anything really.
The feeling of sorting out and creating order is super satisfying.
So, imagine my joy at being able to do the same thing with people’s to do lists in a coaching session!
Specifically, the type of list of things that aren’t getting done.
The things that feel too big to tick off easily, so they lurk at the bottom, and often get carried over from week to week.
The things that you know you ‘should’ get to, but can’t seem to get into action on.
And the longer they lurk, the harder it feels to get started.
Who were you 12 years ago?
Where were you, and what were you doing?
What was your life like?
So much can change in our life over time.
Our circumstances, our surroundings, the people in our world, what we want, what works for us, how we like to spend our time and energy, what and who we value and appreciate - all can change.
You are not the same person you were 12 years ago, 7 years ago, 1 year ago - even last month or last week.
And neither are the people around you.
And yet it’s so easy to miss the changes. Unless we stop, take stock, notice and appreciate them.
I’ve done a lot of coaching sessions recently around communication.
How do we understand what someone else is saying?
How do we make ourselves understood?
There can be a lot of emotion when it feels like it isn’t working - frustration, anger, disappointment, bitterness...
Both people are trying their best. But often the conversation doesn’t bring out the best in either of them.
“How do they prefer to communicate?” is a great question to move past the challenge and find a way forward.
