I’ve done a lot of coaching sessions recently around communication.

How do we understand what someone else is saying?

How do we make ourselves understood?

There can be a lot of emotion when it feels like it isn’t working - frustration, anger, disappointment, bitterness...

Both people are trying their best. But often the conversation doesn’t bring out the best in either of them.

“How do they prefer to communicate?” is a great question to move past the challenge and find a way forward.

Often people don’t know - it can be a hard question to answer.

But then they reflect and can start to piece things together…

Someone prefers email, with specific and clear instructions - so picking up the phone to them in the moment might not be the most effective.
Someone loves to throw ideas around with people in a room, and have someone else put some shape around them - so pushing them on detail in the moment isn’t going to be useful.
Someone is more comfortable being 1:1, or in a small group - so expecting them to contribute for the first time in a big meeting may not be the best place to start.

We all have a preferred way of communicating with others, and it there are so many different versions of what that looks like.

All are absolutely fine. But it really - really - helps if we know which one we are. And what other people might be too.

Miscommunication can happen when we think the other person communicates like we do.

And then expect them to understand what we mean.

It can help to get super curious about what works best for them, and then understand what that means for how we could communicate with them more effectively.

Is there someone who you’re struggling to communicate effectively with?

And what could you learn if you asked yourself how they prefer to communicate?

Wishing you all a week of clear communication,