…when you don’t know exactly what you want to do next.

Many of us dread being asked the question - where do you want to be in 5 years?

We simply can’t tell you the role we want to be in, or where we want to be. We don’t know.

And that’s absolutely fine.

Except… it can be really hard when other people know their answer, and it feels that we should too.

So, we default to the response we feel we ‘should’ give, or leave it wide open - neither of which feel right.

But there is a different way to have a useful career conversation.

Back in the day, when I was a brand manager on Lucozade Sport, one of my favourite things to do was write a brief.

It was a collaborative process, and I loved weaving together the threads to help tell the story of the brand:

• What was it about?

• Where had it come from and where was it now?

• Where did it want to go, and why?

It was so useful to take the learning from the past and use it to shape the future.

And also to be specific about the edges - what was in and what was out, what was fixed and what was flexible.

I have been a great completer finisher in my life.

Sometimes when it really would have been wiser to stop.

I’ve trained through injury, I’ve stayed too long in roles that no longer fit me, I’ve chosen to ‘push through’ when really, I needed to stop and regroup.

I’ve also started things that felt like a wonderful idea at the time - before I realised what the process would be like - and then felt I had to see it through.

So, it’s been a complete gift to realise that I don’t have to finish everything I start.

And that I often learn just as much from the things I stop as the things I complete.

It’s all useful data.

It’s the middle of the year.

A half way point.

A beautiful time to take a step back and look both ways.

To appreciate the progress you’ve made so far, to focus on what’s to come.

When we’re busy in our lives and work, we can forget to pause, to see the bigger picture, to put things into perspective.

And yet it’s so important.

One of my favourite quotes from Danielle North sums this up, “If you never stop to ask yourself how you are doing, how will you ever really know where you are going?”

I’m a big fan of creating clarity from the inside out.

Of shining a spotlight inside to light the way ahead.

Of getting super clear about who we are on the inside, so we can create the life we want on the outside.

It’s what got me into coaching in the first place.

And yet…

Sometimes, it’s not an inside job.

Sometimes, it’s the situation.

Who were you 12 years ago?

Where were you, and what were you doing?

What was your life like?

So much can change in our life over time.

Our circumstances, our surroundings, the people in our world, what we want, what works for us, how we like to spend our time and energy, what and who we value and appreciate - all can change.

You are not the same person you were 12 years ago, 7 years ago, 1 year ago - even last month or last week.

And neither are the people around you.

And yet it’s so easy to miss the changes. Unless we stop, take stock, notice and appreciate them.

I came upon this sign on one of my regular dog walks recently. It really struck a chord!

Sometimes in life we are clearly moving and growing. Things are happening, there’s a plan and regular progress, we’re on track.

We’re in motion.

Sometimes we’re regrouping. Taking some time to reflect on, and integrate, what’s been. Pausing to let what we have sown grow. Taking stock and working out what’s next.

We’re still.

Are you forgetting to look back?

So often in life we are focused on the future, and the gap between where we are and where we want to be.

It can feel hard to see how we will get to the destination. We can feel like we are a long way off, and maybe that we will never arrive.

We can end up…

• Focusing on how far we have to go, rather than where we are.

• Reviewing what we haven’t done, rather than what we have.

• Measuring ourselves harshly against expected progress, rather than actual progress.

We can forget to to look behind us to celebrate the journey we’ve already made.

“The Pause is the full stop that allows us to consider the next sentence of our lives”

I love this quote by Danielle North, and it feels especially relevant right now, as we head into the darkest nights and festive break, ahead of a New Year.

With this as inspiration, it’s become a tradition for my husband and I sit down with our family calendar at the end of December, to take a look back at the year and reflect on what’s happened.

Where did we go? What did we do? What were the big events and the little memories? We are always astonished at how much we have already forgotten about!

We give the year a theme or a title, and then look forward with a light touch - what will the coming year bring? What would we like it to be like?

Some years the process has been painful with loss, other times rich in learning, often we have marvelled at the sheer amount of change.

It always brings insight and a sense of grounding.

Something you may not know about me is that I was The UK’s Most Enterprising Student 1995.

At the end of my second year at university I completed an 8-week summer placement for a local SME. It was through the Shell Technology Enterprise Programme (STEP) - a way to gain ‘proper’ work experience before graduating.

I then won the competition at the end - sharing the story of my experience in front of different judging panels, and ending up being presented with this trophy at a black-tie dinner.

It was a complete game changer in so many ways.

Mostly in how I thought about myself.