Recently I was lost in Houston.
On a morning walk I got completely disoriented and couldn’t find my way back to my sister’s house. I saw the bridge of the freeway and my heart sank!
This is not the first time I have got lost.
I have a terrible sense of direction, and on holiday it’s at its worst without my trusty safety net of Maps.
Ironic as I spend my days focusing on finding direction in life and work!
When I work with people around purpose the biggest emotion is often a sense of relief.
That I’m not going to ask them to find their ‘one thing’.
That our goal isn’t a mythical quest that they have to strive to work on for the rest of their lives.
That it’s not (always) about saving the whole world.
Instead it’s about connecting with how we show up, and the impact we have, when we feel a sense of purpose - when we feel ‘on purpose’.
As a child we are often asked what we want to be when we grow up, and the answer for so many of us is…
“I don’t know yet”.
As an adult we are often asked where we want to be in 10 years time, and the answer for so many of us is…
“I don’t know yet”.
We don’t have a crystal ball.
We don’t have control over so many things that could happen.
We perhaps haven’t even thought about it.
And perhaps we don’t want to, because of the risk it might not turn out the way we planned.
And yet… even if you don’t - and really can’t - know exactly where you will be, and what you will be doing, it can still be super useful to map out a ten year timeline.
In 2011, when I was in the messy liminal space between roles, I wrote my criteria for what I wanted from the next stage of my working life.
I went back through my CV and thought about when I’d been happiest and at my best.
I thought about what I’d learned from realising I wanted and needed to change paths.
I gathered the threads from the journey I’d been on with my first ever coach - the wondrous Nicola Jones.
These 5 questions acted as my career compass - a set of filters that helped me land happily in the world of consultancy for the next 7 years.
Over a decade later it’s one of my favourite coaching tools.
I absolutely love being safely up high.
When I was little, I loved to sit at the very top of the climbing frame in our back garden (strangely, especially when it was raining and I could sit under an umbrella!).
Some of my favourite holidays have been in the mountains in the summer.
When I imagine where my future self lives, she has a wide-open view.
Anywhere with a bit of height and a big sky calms me down and opens me up. It gives me a beautiful sense of perspective. I can see things more clearly.
I keep this card close by to remind me of that feeling.
Looking out of the window the other day I saw a green parakeet (and then managed to get a photo!)
Beautiful. Exotic. Magical….
And completely normal for me (we have an abundance of them where I live).
I also walk everyday in Bushy Park, among the deer.
And just a little further afield is the river and Hampton Court Palace with it’s sparkly gold gates.
When people come to visit they are astonished at these sights. Through their fresh eyes they are magical.
And I realise they are so familiar to me that I can take them for granted.
This can be true of our surroundings, and just as true for ourselves and what we bring to the world. So often we can’t see what others find magical in us, because it’s simply a part of who we are.
Scrolling back through photos recently I found this, taken by my daughter as I attempted to recreate a teenage eye roll.
It made me laugh. And also perfectly summed up how I felt (and most likely what I looked like) when my coach first asked me the hardest questions I find to answer:
What do you want to acknowledge yourself for?
What skills or qualities about yourself are you celebrating?
Does it feel like you’ve been working towards, or through, something for so long and you’re not there yet?
Are you longing to be the other side of something (an illness, a decision, a project) and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel?
Are you frustrated and a little overwhelmed? Doing everything right but it doesn’t seem to be coming together?
If so, this one’s for you.
“The Pause is the full stop that allows us to consider the next sentence of our life” Danielle North
Around the end of December my husband and I sit down with our family calendar, take a look back at the year and reflect on what’s happened.
Where did we go? What did we do? What were the big events and the little memories (we are always astonished at how much we have already forgotten about!)?
