Last week I spent a joyful afternoon making a Christmas wreath in the kitchen of the brilliant Annie Jenkins.
It was both wonderfully organised and completely free - the best kind of supervised creative play. The time flew past, and we all left with a completely different wreath - no two the same size, shape, or mix of colours, each brilliantly festive.
What a gift.
Recently, I spent 4 nights in Yorkshire on retreat. We were hunkered down in a cosy haven ‘on the tops’ with expansive views all around.
I always appreciate the time and space to take a step back from my daily life, and this time was especially helpful as it was a return visit.
I’d been to the same place with a number of the same people almost 2 years before. I could feel the difference between back then and this time - in them, in me, in my life, in how I related to those I knew and those I was meeting for the first time - and others could too.
I was surprised at the shift. For me the time in between retreats had felt more like evolution than revolution.
But of course, over time, it all adds up.
Back in August last year, I shared a photo of an abandoned creative project - a large pile of painstakingly cut fabric strips. The skeleton of a patchwork quilt.
Making one was a long-held dream that felt so exciting in theory, but not in reality.
Luckily for me, my mum offered to take the project on, and a couple of weeks ago she delivered the finished article in person.
It’s absolutely gorgeous.
Over the course of a few weeks recently, I asked for a helping hand with all kinds of things:
My daughter painted my nails for our friend’s birthday celebration. It’s not something I do well, and she’s brilliant at it. It was a delightful treat to have glamorous hands for a few days.
My husband did all the late-night pickups in an unexpected week. We share most things pretty evenly, but he knows I power down early. It made a big difference.
Three local friends with dogs of their own took care of Freddie for a day when we all had to be somewhere else. They shared walking and being with him, he had a fabulous time, and we could focus on what we needed to.
What a gift.
Ah hindsight!
Isn’t it funny how life can keep giving you the same learning over and over again?
Each time it looks a bit different. And then you realise - oh this again!
Mine is all about doing too much for too long and exhausting myself.
It starts with being busy, running around with no space in between things. I feel a sense of urgency to complete everything on an endless to do list, and yet even as I’m ticking them off, I’m adding more.
The short-term payoff is feeling super productive - but it always leads to overwhelm.
Over time I’ve learned to spot the spiral. I know to take a breath and a step back. To ask myself:
Does this really need to happen now?
What needs to be done, and what can wait?
If I focused on just one thing, what would it be?
And to give myself the time and space to declutter, to simplify, and follow my energy instead of a list.
Of course, once I got good at this, it showed up differently.
I started filling the space with different things. Not the everyday ones (I’ve learned that lesson!), but the ones I always meant to get to, if only I had the time…
And then I exhausted myself. Lesson learned - again :-)
I know from experience that I’m much more effective when I do less rather than more, and yet it’s still a recurring challenge.
It’s sneaky and rarely shows up in the same way twice. It finds a disguise - and too late - I realise I’ve fallen into the trap again!
And of course, I always will. But I can and am learning to spot it earlier, and to be kinder to myself when it happens. I can even laugh (in hindsight).
What’s your never-ending life lesson?
The one that shows up differently each time? The recurring challenge, that constantly raises its level?
And what helps you spot it and come back to centre?
Wishing you the power of hindsight and kindness to yourself,
I love to read, and always have done.
For me, it’s a beautiful way of opening my mind and expanding my horizons, of entertaining and educating my brain. It’s also one of my favourite ways to rest and recharge.
I set myself up in a comfy place with a hot drink and a brilliant book like this one, and immerse. I read slowly - digesting each part and really savouring it, even when I’m longing to race ahead!
When it’s time to stop I feel calm and restored, and fresh ideas pop into my head. It’s like plugging into a creatively energising power source.
Except when it isn’t.
Do I fit? Do you like me?
This Post-it note was originally for my teenage son - a prompt for him to try on a shirt, left lying in an obvious position to help drive a decision.
It made me smile, and also realise what useful questions they were.
I imagined it stuck to all kinds of things!
When we’re presented with a choice it can really help to have something to respond to.
Questions can be a great option - a way of sparking our thinking process.
Examples from coaching sessions include:
Do I want to do this, and is it doable?
Does this feel interesting, and do I have the energy for it?
Can I do this, and can I still be me while I do it?
How do I feel? What do I need?
Sometimes they stay the same - reliable questions that multi-task.
Sometimes they change depending on the situation, or what’s most important at the time.
The key is to have something to respond to, because useful questions help us filter our choices, so we can figure out what’s right for us - and let go of the rest.
What questions help you filter your choices?
And would popping them on a Post-it note be a useful reminder?
Wishing you all a week of useful filtering,
You know those people in your life?
The ones you have a rich shared history or an instant understanding with?
The people who bring out the best in you, who it’s easy to be completely yourself with, and talk about anything and everything?
The people who you can dive straight in with without getting lost - from the start or after many years?
They’re simply your people, and they are a complete gift.
Every October for the last few years I’ve shared a photo of my younger self, part of the Inspiring Girls International #ThisLittleGirlIsMe campaign, along with the advice I’d give that younger me.
Each year a different picture has inspired different thoughts, and this time it’s me aged 4 ish, peering out of the window of a train carriage on the Bluebell railway. I look a little apprehensive, as though I’m not quite sure what the journey will bring.
This little girl is me, and here are 5 things I wish she knew for the journey of her life that lies ahead, with love from me to her.
