When I have the urge to write, it can be really tempting to wait until the idea is fully formed and perfect in my head before I put pen to paper.

My inner critic tells me that I don’t have time to work on it right now, or that I need to think about it more.

It also worries that it won’t be as good on the page as it is in my head, so there’s no point even trying.

For a long time, this meant I didn’t write anything, and all the ideas that bubbled up in me didn’t have anywhere to go. They stayed stuck inside - trapped by overthinking and under doing.

Now I give myself permission to create a messy first draft, because if the idea only exists in my head I’ll never know whether any of those worries are true.

I love this picture.

It represents the fun of being up high, the joy of early dog ownership, the beauty of seeing the landscape spread out down below.

It was taken on holiday in West Wales back in 2018. Freddie and I are at the top of Mwnt, while my husband and children are on the beach down below.

They were happy doing, and I was happy being and seeing them.

Seeing our lives from above like this can be both calming and grounding. Things really do look different, and feel different, when we look down on our lives rather than being in them.

It gives us a moment to pause, to see the bigger picture, to put things in context.

One simple question has made an enormous difference to my life, my relationships, my choices - and a lot of conversations with my husband: “Can I talk at you for a bit?”

I know now that when I’m stuck or need to work through something, I do my best thinking and feeling when the words come out of my head.

Often, I really don’t know how I feel about something until I say it out loud, and it can take me by surprise.

I’m so glad that I know this now, because it’s not a neat process.

It can take some time and lots of verbal circles - creating a messy first draft and then revising in real time. I need to follow the thread without worrying about it making sense.

And for that, I need a patient witness to listen and let me talk it out. To be OK with me talking AT them for a bit, rather than WITH them.

Standing up and speaking in front of an audience - whether sharing a story, giving a speech, or presenting your work - can be a wonderful experience.

It’s an opportunity to have an impact on people who matter to you, personally or professionally.

And it can also be completely nerve wracking.

Our minds can go wild - the doubt can creep in and the ‘what ifs’ start - and our body can get in the mix too.

My tells? My heart begins to pound and my legs start to shake - a winning combination!

And I know I’m not alone.

Many years ago, a defining experience was not getting a job I thought I really wanted.

I had applied to a graduate scheme that felt like the perfect next step, and made it all the way to the last stage before not getting an offer.

It felt like a shocking failure. An example of not measuring up.

For many years I made it all about me and what I’d done wrong. If only I could have been different, been more of what they were looking for.

I never stopped to wonder if it simply wasn’t the right fit for me.