“Do you find yourself contrasting how someone else’s life looks on the outside, with how yours feels on the inside?

Can it feel as though everyone else is doing it ‘better’?

Is compare and despair an easy trap for you to fall into?

Me too. My inner critic absolutely loves to jump into this place.

A snapshot of someone else’s life can bring up a whole lot of stuff for many of us. Especially if it lands in a tender spot.

This was brought to life for me recently - but from the other side of the experience…

“Should I make this less specific?”

I’ve had a few people ask me this question in coaching sessions recently.

They feel they ‘should’ be bringing bigger ‘meta’ issues.

They worry that by being specific they are focusing in on too small a thing - or narrowing their options too much.

They think they should focus on the bigger picture rather than one piece of the puzzle.

When this happens I tell them that it’s generally really useful to be specific.

One of my new favourite ways to spend Sunday morning is in a warm yoga class at my local studio.

It’s the perfect balance of relaxing and intense (even though I’m always lulled into a false sense of security by the gentleness of the first 15 minutes!).

And this week it came with the added bonus of a huge a-ha moment.

As we settled into our mats the yoga teacher (the brilliant Kayleigh) set up the session.

She reminded us that it was our practice. At any time we could take a break or make a change.

I’ve heard this before and know it makes sense. I’m even getting better at actually doing it :-)

But her next sentence really landed it for me:

“Just because I tell you to do something, doesn’t mean you have to”.

Game changer.

I absolutely love being safely up high.

When I was little, I loved to sit at the very top of the climbing frame in our back garden (strangely, especially when it was raining and I could sit under an umbrella!).

Some of my favourite holidays have been in the mountains in the summer.

When I imagine where my future self lives, she has a wide-open view.

Anywhere with a bit of height and a big sky calms me down and opens me up. It gives me a beautiful sense of perspective. I can see things more clearly.

I keep this card close by to remind me of that feeling.

“Where do you get your ideas from?”

I was asked this recently, and I replied that I see ideas everywhere.

I’ll notice something - a visual, a sentence in a book, a view, a part of a conversation - and an idea forms in my brain. Sometimes it’s just a fragment, and sometimes it seems to download, fully formed.

And I then realised that wasn’t the whole story.

When I reflected on it further I realised that I’ve been increasing my capacity to have ideas over time. I’ve been building a habit.

It’s a practice, not a gift.